Conversation that beckons you to think!!

My first grader daughter Aditi who has recently turned 7 opens the windows of my brain and beckons me to breathe some fresh air. She just finished reading her book "Hour of  the Olympics" and as usual had tons of questions for me. Snippet from our conversation.


Aditi: That is so not nice in ancient Greece women were not allowed to read and go to school.

Me: Yea Aditi those times were different women were expected to do household jobs and men used to be either warriors, scholars, artisans or craftsmen.

Aditi: WARRIORS!! Means they used to fight.

Me: Yes in those days there were lot of kingdoms and one with maximum kingdoms was the most powerful. So they used to fight to win over the kingdoms. (Then I show her a short video of a king fighting to gain kingdom)

Aditi: That is so bad. They were not good. They used to fight for kingdom.

Me: No they were good, In India also this used to happen. There were kings and kingdoms and they use to have wars to own the kingdoms

Aditi: Oh then why do you keep telling me that India is a very great country, culture is very good and all.

Me: Yes Aditi Indian culture is very good. There is lot of respect amongst themselves. Greece and India has given so much to the whole world.

Aditi: Mummy how can killing each other be respectful. America never does that.

Me: Aditi America also participates in wars, has weapons and all.

Aditi: So America also tries to fight to get more kingdoms??

Me: No I mean when there is a fight America participates to take side of one or the other countries or if somebody encroaches their territory it fights back.

Aditi: But that is fair Mumma. If somebody hits me or troubles me I will hit back. And if somebody does that to my sister I will hit them back too.

At this point I was at toss and did not know what to say and what not to say. But one thing did struck me, we are so obsessed by our country, our beliefs, our religion, our culture that sometimes it is very hard to see from the other side. We have in our minds whatever we have grown listening, experiencing is the right way...probably yes or probably not !!

When I am not I

It’s difficult to begin
And hard to imagine
When I am not I
Then what am I?

I am not my parent’s daughter,
There is nothing like brother and sister,
My little world is slaughtered.
Breaking the chains of relation,
Altogether a different sensation.
Society is strange for me,
My mind set absolutely free.
I have no identity,
No human solidarity,
Loosing my integrity.

But there is something more pure,
Absolutely transparent, without any lure.
Dissolving itself in its ambience,
Creating around a perfect silence.
Feeling within the immense powers,
The whole world is truly ours.
Mind has no constraints,
Soaring high without any reins,
Is it heaven? Is it bliss?
Whatever it is,
Is it I?

Food for Thought

As usual it was an awesome evening with the most beloved friends.We had fits of laughter and wits.

In the midst of all the fun and frolic we did have a thoughtful talk and was good to exchange views and learn from each other. It was a sad demise of Sherryl Sandberg's gifted husband which ignited this conversation and topic ofcourse was WOMEN!!

It would be really boring to write how conversation started and what were the views..blah blah..etc...But there were some interesting questions, beliefs which came in my mind and would like to understand them more and share my thoughts...

• Does being a CEO of company means you are successful?? Does being a compassionate and dedicated teacher means you are not successful? Does money earned drives the fact how successful you are? 

• A CEO of company launches a product which lasts 10 years may be 20 and then a new product comes in the market. Infact the famous iphone does not last for years. If we compare the above scenario with when a woman gives birth (launches a kid) and nourishes a kid and teacher contributes in conjunction to give foundation to these kids, I believe they last much longer...generation after generation and affect is in ripple form. But yes they are not paid as much as CEO. So does this undermine the importance of mother or a teacher?

• I agree with the concept of equal opportunity at the workplace. Gender equality is must. But to manage home and to raise kids,  female does a better job mostly. When a female is born they have this innate quality of compassion, motherhood, providing security. As they grow either these qualities blossom in a positive way or they remain hidden but these qualities exist. This is nature and holds truth just like the universal truth that only a female can give birth to a child. Only a female can feed an infant baby. Take pride in this and tremendously enjoy it. A child brought without Mother or Motherly figure in growing years will always develop lacuna in later years and will be more prone to depressions. Thats medically stated.

• Next question was why only woman has to sacrifice.  Why only she has to stay back at home to take care of kids. Husbands should do equally. I don't understand why is taking care of kids and being at home MOM considered a secondary work. Its the most important work. So a woman get to do the premium work I would say. Its easier to manage 100 people under you while working in a company but growing up kids who can listen to you during their teens is 100 times more difficult job. I am sure everyone would agree. Don't let money decide what is successful, cool or primary. Trust me in every family major grief is caused due to own children and family members and then being a CEO or being a businessman at that point looks like a waste.

• The other discussion was earlier women were house wives and now they are working so this is evolution. NO!! Times have changed, earlier women skills and talents were decided based on their house work chores as there was no technology, everything was hand done. Be it from grinding grains to making papads. Now in the technologically advanced world if a woman does the same household stuff day after day, that’s sheer waster of time. So what I do with all the time which  I get. Lets work and put our energies somewhere else. Women in older days had been equally or I would say more skilled than current female population, what has changed is the area of contribution.

•   I feel women can achieve anything she sets her mind to. She is born with such strong minds provided she realizes it. This strength, confidence and integrity is a very complex thing and is achieved during the growing years which again a family and surroundings provide.

But yes one point I agree is, what a woman does - is undermined, looked upon and considered tertiary. Thats where we go wrong. I am in favour of the "lean in" movement at work place, but strongly feel and advocate a movement where A Woman is acknowledged, appreciated, rewarded in what she does and how much she sacrifices. There should be a movement where the male counterpart takes pride in what a female does for him and for his family. Support her rather than ignoring her and then see the beauty it leads to. Female should be equipped with all the traits, she should be given the best of education, best of everything but her primary work should be building homes, bonding family and raising kids, rest should be very important too but secondary. And I think that will bring change.